All going well, so long as I retain my mental facilities, I uphold as far as possible not to willingly wear any of the following items during 2011 and hopefully for some time after. In no particular order:
1. Anything Beige. No beige or chocolate brown suits, shirts, undies, ties or hats. OK, sometimes when adhering to wardrobe requirements, I am required to don the camel chinos (can you believe it?? Chinos!!). But fashionable as beige might be...it's not for me. On that note, brown curtains, brown lounge suites and brown cushions are also off-limits.
2. Lycra Shorts. Perhaps in my previous cycling youth I did indulge in the comfort these afforded on longer city treks, but no more when heading for the wrong side of 40. If you enjoy the figure of a moderate athlete and undertake running, jumping and skipping on a regular basis, then go for it. That's legitimate.
3. Cutting Edge Fashion. At one point, I was once described as the Yves Saint Laurent of the production department at Channel Nine in Sydney, but that was way back in the 80's, and we all know what fashion was like back then. Today, I doubt if I could pull-off a look like this, waltzing down Norton Street Leichhardt, without scoring a Pizza in my face or a Tiramasu lobbed at my back. Perhaps these guys could.
4. Footy Jersey. Yes I do have pride in my nation's sporting achievements in whatever code, but wearing one of these just looks ridiculous on me. And please, don't ever wear one at christenings, weddings or regular Sunday church services. If co-ordinated, you might be able to get away with it at a funeral if the rest of the team is honouring a one-eyed fan. But certainly fly the colours at any sporting event where the Aussie's are sure to prevail.
9. Bluetooth headset when not on the phone